Little one

Little one
I shouldn't lie and say i don't love you
When I adore you
I shouldn't give it all up because it got hard
When I do love you
And your mother too
But stories don't always have happy endings
For a writer kiddo
I honestly tried to get to a better ending than this
But it wasn't in the cards
Because your mother was playing games
And there's so much I want to show you
And there's so much I want to teach you
But sometimes the greatest teachers leave you alone to find the right lessons.
My daddy never really taught me anything.
I tried kiddo
And things got complicated
And your mother and I made some mistakes along the way
But there was no manual on the perfect relationship
No guide on how to get the fighting to stop
The that's the way it goes
We play the parts written for us
I was once an amazing king with a queen by my side and a princess in her crib,
To the pauper.
And for all the finger pointing
It was both our faults
That you'll never know the stability of a real family
But I imagine your mother will give you a friend
I don't expect you to understand
Not now and not when your 23.
I don't expect you to forgive me or not hate me.
It was never my intention for my only kid to hate me
But I'm out of options
If time doesn't steal it away
I've left you paper trails
I you want
You could read my words
I've been writing this all down along the way
You can try to get to know me
If you want
You can try to understand who I was as a person
Joyce's father is dead
I didn't want to do that to her
And I don't want to do that to you
Bit graves are dug
And bodies running cold
I always wanted to be a doctor
That was my dream profession
I wanted to help people
All I can do is hurt everyone I love
But I can't live with this guilt
The things I've said
The terrible things I've done
I've left nothing but pain and destruction to everything I touch
And everything I love
And now I hurt you
I defile the innocence
ANd you are
Your amazing
Your so smart
And gorgeous
Your so wonderful
And I don't deserve you
I hope the sparkle in your eyes never fades little one
Because this world gets dark sometimes
And you'll need that sparkle to light your way
Things will get hard
So much will happen that you won't be prepared for
Just know I'm watching over you
And I won't take my eyes off you
I wish I could do more for you
I wish I could kiss you goodnight every night.
Im always with you
I love you
Always and forever little one
Love daddy