Blocked

My mind is blocked
It's getting late
I'm off my meds
Cant stay awake

All i have done
Is slept for days
In the dark
Going back to old ways

Cat by my side
Hot water bottle in the bed
Icy cold to the core
Whats wrong with head?

I know I should be happy
I shouldn't be sad
Yet in my head are thoughts
Very far from glad

Talking to people
Keeping dark me at bay
Until they go to bed, work
Or are simply out to play

Then come the thoughts
Of darkness and dispare
Should I do it; yes i should
Who will really care

Its just me on my own
I have to learn to be strong
Good light me knows I can do it
Ans she is never wrong