Reality

My heart breaks as watch you wave goodbye,
With that beautiful smile on your face
I can tell myself all I want that I dont love you,
But these amazing memories I cannot erase

You're only a text away,
Or maybe a call, or two, or three,
You're one of the most important people in my life,
And you'll be forever in my mind and memory.

You're leaving for four months,
Something I don't want you to do,
You put your headphones in and I watch you look back at me once more,
And I try not to cry in front of you.

For the last five months I've run to you,
And when I fell you helped me up each time,
But I'm afraid I fell in love with you,
For my loving someone, anyone, is a crime.

You wave goodbye and I choke back a sob,
There's still so much I have to say,
With so many things going on in my life,
I've only ever given YOU the time of day.

You grin and my heart stops beating,
You smile and my world spins out of control,
Matt I don't know what to do without you,
Your absence is taking its toll.

Pain fills my chest as I miss you,
And the tears continue to fall,
When I first met you my guard was up,
But you somehow broke down the wall.

Leaving a barrier and cascade of feelings,
That surfaced the minute you earned my trust,
I've come to love the man you are,
And what I feel for you is love, not lust.

Your gentleness enfolds me,
Leaving me feeling safe and loved,
And every time you leave before I do,
I feel a pull towards you,
Like by gravity I'm being shoved.

I can't explain the way I feel,
All I know is that you're the one I want,
Not him, or him, or him either,
You're the only one with who I don't have to put up a front.

So as you walk away in an adorable blue shirt,
And sip on your diet coke,
Reality sinks in and i feel my heart start to sink,
As I realize my love for you is indeed no joke.