Just let it show...

A really good rhyming piece with beautiful imagery. Many people can relate to this piece which is always good in poetry. A very smooth, flowing piece.

Em

Beautiful, sad, caring, cute..
I also love this piece :)
Well done :)

The following is a compilation of suggested edits I'd make for your poem. It is a little bit bland, I'd say, and not that we have to keep in mind all songs/poems in the past, but the words "I know you care, I know it's there" is from an Ellie Goulding song by the same name. Perhaps you were listening to her while you were writing this? She's a good artist to listen to for unrequited love :P

Eyes of warm amber
set in the coldest face.
I tell you I love you...
but you turn away.
You say, "Don't love me,
I don't want to hurt you."
I'm stronger than that:
I want to be with you.

Like the stars are lost to the sun,
I'm lost to your smile
and the embrace of your arms.

You've a heart of stone
and feet of lead.
You are stubborn; steadfast.
Day to day, you put on a mask.

I know you care,
I know it's there.
I wish you'd let it show;
Let it out and let it grow.
Like vines pulling us together.

You hold yourself back,
words and actions guarded.
Be free, show all.
Give me the key to the door,
So I may pass through your wall.

I also changed a few words, artistic liberties I would say. Don't mind me :P

All-in-all, a sad piece but honesty is beautiful in its own way.

5/5
IdTakeABulletForYou

Nice poem