It's hard to love someone so much and want to be their protector and their strength and they can't or won't let you in. They refuse to see you just want the best for them, your loving words just can't be sincere. I can tell from your write it's been a struggle for both of you, hang in there, she knows it deep down. Well done-

Hello Vicente

It's funny, isn't it, that we can be so concerned with how people who love us view us - but they love us because of who we are already, flaws and all.
Keep banging on that door, and I'm sure he'll let you in when he's ready.

Take care and all the best
Ben

I think this was a much stronger piece than the other one. No suggestions for correction with this one; however, I would like to say that the ending was, personally speaking, a tad corny. Then again, you know how I am with mushy love poems -- they make me cringe! Perhaps it's just the anti-mushy side of me that wished the poem ended at "I'm right here at your side." Everyone else did seem to like it, though!

I would like to see a rhyming poem come from you, one with distinct rhythm and flow :P Do eeeet!

V/r
IdTakeABulletForYou

A) Welcome to P & Q..
B) I loved this - mushiness and all (ignore S haha ;) !)
I especially loved the ending, asking your crush to put his heart on the line, just as you will be for him. At the risk it can get broken. This is sooooo cute :)

I am so sorry for assuming! I'm glad he knows you love him. It's important for someone you care for know you have their back. I'm glad he got you writing on this site-I really like your work. Take care-Brenda

Vicente, this is such a sweet but very powerful and meaningful piece.

I know you have flaws,
I know you don't like some things,
But you don't see,
That I love you and your shortfalls.
^^
Love this opening. We are all far from perfect but some people realise that more than others and seem to dwell on their imperfections when others only seem them as perfectly imperfect (if that makes sense.)

You are one of the strongest I know,
Yet I still worry about you.
I feel like I need to defend and protect,
^^
When we truly care for someone/love them we will defend them no matter what and help them to see there good instead of bed but again (likely due to the past) some people find it harder than others to see the good in themselves.

Yet you still push me aside,
And focus on your "defects".
^^
As I said some of us find it harder to see good in ourselves.

I've been by you,
From beginning to end,
I'm still waiting by the door,
Why won't you let me in?
^^
Love this part and it shows that no matter what you'll be there for this man.
I do feel the first line here would read better as "I've been by your side"

I'm not saying you're perfect,
Nobody is,
I just hope that soon you'll see,
You are still perfect to me.
^^
Beautiful and it takes me back to my point I said of nobody being perfect but being perfectly imperfect to someone else.

Raise your head,
Lift your eyes.
I'm right here at your side,
Come put your heart next to mine.
^^
N'awww beautiful ending!

Fantastically written, Em