Eyes Wide open

by deeplydesturbed   Jun 27, 2016


My eyes are open.
It's no longer darkness for
the world is alight.

    report violation
2


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Imperfection

    Short yet powerful I like it :)

  • 8 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I like this, darlin! I would suggest, instead of using the word "lighter", I would change it to "The world is alight." You could also connect the last two lines so it didn't sound so robotic, if you wanted to. It would read:

    My eyes are open.
    It's no longer darkness for
    the world is alight.

    Or with ending the roboticness, you wouldn't need the word "alight" to make up for it, so you could still keep lighter.

    My eyes are open.
    It's no longer darkness for
    the world is lighter.

    Either way, I still love it. Great work!

    Much love,
    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

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