Lost and Found
by Marshall Lee Jul 7, 2016
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I lost myself in a bottle of ink. I had gotten carried away with my words. I slipped on the silk of the outskirts of my limit. They moved like clouds blocking the sun's light. There's no breeze. I feel their presence heavily, leaving a warm sticky sweat. It's lying in humidity and smog. There was a smell of a bull in musth as they whisper and hush. Their stares burned holes in my memory. They push and shove. They prey on me. But, I am unafraid. In the dark is where I blend. I am hidden from my blindness. Without the shine of light, I can be unseen. For in the darkness, I am but a shadow, friendless and cold, mingling in the void, on a quest for sight. I am invisible to my nightmares, uncontaminated by the lies of my inner me. Aren't they like me? |
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Latest Comments
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8 years ago
by Brenda
Welcome to P&Q! Wonderful first write! Enjoyed immensely - take care-Brenda
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8 years ago
Welcome to the site!
Lovely piece for your first work!! :) -
8 years ago
Welcome to the site Jaalon!
I think this is a wonderful first piece. The imagery and metaphors are beautiful, a poem I believe to be about your struggle through existence in what you believe to be a darkness, which is perhaps depression.
To make the ending a bit more poignant, I'd edit the last line to either stand alone, or just start on a new line so it's centered below the previous one. It would be a bit more striking to me if it just stood out on its own instead of being cluttered at the end of the sentence, but that's just personal preference.
"Musth" is pronounced that way, but it's actually spelled "must" as far as I know. Wasn't sure if that was intentional or not.
Those poem really is better the third time around, and the interpretations are endless. A great, versatile piece. Great job, and again welcome to the PnQ community!
5/5
IdTakeABulletForYou-
8 years ago
by Marshall Lee
Thanks for inviting me here.. I think this will be good for me. It's feel good to be amongst writers.
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