Winter Night

by deeplydesturbed   Jul 7, 2016


It is cold tonight
Feet are freezing cold
Got a hot water bottle
Yet before I warm up, I'll be old

The cat is cuddling close
Hiding under covers with me
How many more layers
for warmth. Ten? No, twenty!

Outside it's foggy
Clouds sitting just above the ground..
Oh my gosh! It happened!
A warm spot has been found !

Winter is too much
I need to be warm..
Can't wait for summer again
When these grey rainy days are gone

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by hiraeth

    I'd trade excessively hot days for excessively cold days, any day of the week, lol. Shame that it's just rain and not snow :p

    • 8 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      It does snow here too :)
      But just little bit sup in the hills not in the city! :( and not much snow!
      But i prefer warmer days!

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I hate winter but I'm always cold haha

    Well they do say warm heart, cold hands.

    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    I don't think I want to be where you are at at the moment, it doesn't sound very pleasant, lol. Aside from that - loved it!

    • 8 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks brenda! Its actually australia haha winter! Its cold lol

  • 8 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I suggest changing the line "until warmth shall we be?" to "for warmth. Ten? No, twenty!" or "til we're warm? Ten, No, twenty!"... I mean you can mix it up. I just think the exaggeration would really help the reader understand how cold you are, that you feel twenty layers would be what it takes to warm you up ... cause you're obviously close to the arctic lol.

    "Outside its foggy" ... its should be "it's".

    "Cloud" should be "Clouds".

    I suggest, in the last line, changing the phrase "are gone" to "end". It'll make it less unwieldy of a last line, and rhyme with the previous line.

    Other than that, know that it's cold because the seasons hate you ... mwah ha ha! lol.

    5/5
    Much love,
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 8 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Edits have been made. And it is cold because the seasons hate me.. :( i prefer warm!

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