Comments : Awkward

  • 8 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I did love this, and the message it instills is a wonderful one. Here, we can be who we really want to be, despite bodily limitations! Words are our sky, and the pen or the keyboard is our plane to get there.

    Wonderful job.

    Suggestions for improvement:
    I would add a comma after "When I write", as it makes the reader pause and I believe it's a critical pause to help the ending to be more thematic.

    I would add the word "of" into the line "All us speech rejects.", to read "All of us speech rejects."

    As for the proper grammar in the confusing quotation marks, for example: Our paper "S's", I think all you need is "S"s , as there's no possession for the S and it's only being pluralized; the quotation represents the item in question and I'm sure you did not have an "S's" taped on your back, but instead just an "S" :p Reminds me of The Scarlett Letter!

    As always, you tell your life and provide valuable insight into you, and that is easily translated into our own lives.

    Wonderful work,
    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Stephen! I did do my edits, thank you for that also. It did feel like we had a big old red S on our backs. Even at the age of 7 I knew what she had done was so not right...It was one of those "earth open up and swallow me whole" moments. One of many I've faced in my life. Thank you again! Brenda

  • 8 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Love this one Brenda! Very personal! It touches on a subject people wouldnt normally talk about. :) well done!

    5/5

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much! Writing has allowed me to be able to cover a lot of subjects that can be and have been painful life moments. We have all had them, I guess that's part of life. Some of them I wish we never had to go through. I do appreciate your kind comments-take care-

  • 8 years ago

    by GB

    My elder sister suffered from "Dyslexia" despite the fact she is now professor in the field of pharmacology, it's all about building our own faith and trust. Very beautiful verse, Brenda.

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you ever so much! That is so very true! So many things come in front of us, some people it's a block, others leap over that and go on to great success, ie: your sister. Take care-

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Brenda such a powerful yet sad piece about your struggles in life.
    I love how you state that you can write without being judged, that's one reason I write because otherwise I'll get judged.

    Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Em! That is indeed the beauty of writing, you can just be you and it's ok. It's sad that we get judged just by how we look or talk, etc..how about getting to know someone first?

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Being you is beautiful! loved this piece Brenda!!

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Andrea! I really appreciate your kind words-hugs! Brenda

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Brenda

    What a perfectly formed and articulated poem this is!
    There are many ways of expressing ourselves - words are just the most obvious ones. I think, too often, so much pointless pressure is put on children and the 'help' they are told they need does nothing but pull their confidence to shreds and damage them further.
    Anyway, your husband likes your walk and that's all that matters!

    SL

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Sir L, thank you so much! It took a lot of years to ever feel confident, I always felt, well, awkward, lol. I think as you do, there's a lot of things we should just leave kids alone on. Take care-Brenda