Lost it

by Yakari Gabriel   Jul 20, 2016


My friend says that she wouldn't know how to pick a partner for me.
says she cannot read me like I can read her. truth is I can't read myself either.
I feel like I have lost something and it isn't my heart.
never my heart. but my voice is lower now.
I don't dare to claim space like I used to. you ask me what I want to become, I would say something small. If anything I want to disappear.
vanish. it aches everywhere. I do not think about love. I do not think about coming home to anyone. about someone else's fingers in mine. I'm too withered for that. bad love leaves you damaged for years unending.
I carry the pain everywhere. my poems are bad now.
I haven't edited my CV,
I feel like I have no skills.
I am somewhere between seeking help and victim blaming.
I don't think anyone in this world can fix the mess you made of me

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by CountlessMoments

    I've read a bunch of poems tonight and this is by far the only one that relates to me the most. Thank-you!!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is raw and is the kind of poetry I wish there was more of. There is a complete lack of overproduction as you yourself practically acknowledge "my poems are bad now. I haven't edited my CV." In fact, and I'm sure you are aware of this, the layout is off, the grammar is off and the flow of the piece stops and starts.
    I have read enough of your work to know that that is not because you are unable, it is literally because, as you say 'my poems are bad now'. We, as the reader, are seeing the effects of that. But that's the magic of the piece: It's blunt, moving, raw and emotional to read.
    I myself have had times I have felt like this. You still need to write, just to get it out there, but you can't even be bothered to capitalise your letters!
    Love really can leave you feeling like this when it turns around and bites you in the arse: confused, unsure of yourself and unwilling to bother.
    This is an unpolished gem and - as above - more poetry should be like this, rather than focusing on superficial gloss. Mind you, that can apply to the world in general....

    Take care,

    SL

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