Debating
by Brenda Jul 21, 2016
|
Did you even see me? |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
-
8 years ago
Very nice Poem.
-
8 years ago
by Brenda
Thank you so much!
-
-
8 years agoby Darkness
Am in awe
-
8 years ago
by Brenda
Wow! Thank you so much-I really appreciate it-
-
-
8 years ago
by Mr. Darcy
Hello Brenda,
Suicidal thoughts or at least 'what if?' thoughts are notions I am sure we all toy with. Would anyone care if I just vanished? What would it be like just to let go of life willingly?
I like the senario you have portrayed; using the ocean as the method. The inclusion of sharks suggests a more horrific death that simply walking 'couple dozen' (you may want to add the word 'of' between those words) steps into the 'waves that are picking up' (nice word choice)
This choice laid out in this scene is one that I feel is weighted on survival. Our nature is to live, but also to be curious; to wonder if anyone would care, (in this case someone who aught to) or would they actively 'shrug' in an act of 'I don't care less'. This addition amplifies the negative impact; almost the worse case senario. It's one thing to be savagely eaten by sharks, but to not be missed, or mourned by a specific person/people would be awful. Using a radar blip is a nice touch, keeping the nautical theme, suggesting your body is now drifting in deep sea, far, far away - a life reduced to a fading blip on a screen.
This poem I believe is a metaphor for letting go, and not necessarily a suicidal musing. What if I stopped tring in this relationship? What if I waited for you to make the effort, to make me feel like you care for me? After all, isn't that what we all yearn for, to be accepted, to be loved unconditionally?
A very good write.
Take care,
Michael x-
8 years ago
by Brenda
Thank you Michael! I did take your suggestion and added the "of". I agree with you that this could mean a lot of different things to different people. Many people have had that "on the edge" moment and play those what if scenarios in their head. I used swimming with the sharks because I am terrified of them, but yet I actually contemplated getting into the water with them. That shows how far I had gone. Sometimes making that change or doing that deed is just that scary. Thank you again, take care-Brenda
-
-
8 years ago
by Em
Thanks Brenda. Hugs back xx
-
8 years ago
by Em
Brenda I read this when you posted it and ran out of time at work to comment etc so I'm glad i came across it again.
This is some powerful stuff and one that we can all most likely relate to at some point in our lives because sometimes life troubles are hard to comprehend and we often feel like we're on the edge or living close by it and no doubt wonder we will be missed. I'm glad i read this tonight because I feel I'm on the edge with no going back.
All the best, Em-
8 years ago
by Brenda
Em, we all have these moments and that's ok, but what's more important is what we do with them. When I find myself on that edge I stop, take a deep breath and a step back. I think of all the people who are important in my life and what's important to me. It usually far outweighs the "on the edge feeling" I am having..I know you have had a lot of stuff going on.lately but always remember you are loved! You are a gifted writer! You are a very sweet young woman! Also your life means something, maybe that something hasn't found you yet but we are all here for a reason. Hugs to you!
-
