Excellent write Brenda!
Such a constant struggle with ourselves to stay afloat.

You portrayed your feelings effortlessly. I commend you on such an awesome piece. Very descriptive and I could imagine myself there on the edge.

Well Done.

This is a dark and intriguing poem, Brenda. Too often people feel like this - standing on the edge - without anyone truly seeing what's wrong or fully comprehending the potentially dire consequences of ignoring the sufferer.
It often would be easier to just walk into the water and 'swim with the sharks'...but it would never be right.

Take care,

SL

Well, this is very different perspective, and I like how you left the ending open with more than a choice for the reader, caring or not caring, practically we pass through this stage by standing in front of the ocean many times during our lifetime. Very deep,very strong. Thank you for sharing.

Brenda I read this when you posted it and ran out of time at work to comment etc so I'm glad i came across it again.
This is some powerful stuff and one that we can all most likely relate to at some point in our lives because sometimes life troubles are hard to comprehend and we often feel like we're on the edge or living close by it and no doubt wonder we will be missed. I'm glad i read this tonight because I feel I'm on the edge with no going back.
All the best, Em

Thanks Brenda. Hugs back xx

Hello Brenda,

Suicidal thoughts or at least 'what if?' thoughts are notions I am sure we all toy with. Would anyone care if I just vanished? What would it be like just to let go of life willingly?

I like the senario you have portrayed; using the ocean as the method. The inclusion of sharks suggests a more horrific death that simply walking 'couple dozen' (you may want to add the word 'of' between those words) steps into the 'waves that are picking up' (nice word choice)

This choice laid out in this scene is one that I feel is weighted on survival. Our nature is to live, but also to be curious; to wonder if anyone would care, (in this case someone who aught to) or would they actively 'shrug' in an act of 'I don't care less'. This addition amplifies the negative impact; almost the worse case senario. It's one thing to be savagely eaten by sharks, but to not be missed, or mourned by a specific person/people would be awful. Using a radar blip is a nice touch, keeping the nautical theme, suggesting your body is now drifting in deep sea, far, far away - a life reduced to a fading blip on a screen.

This poem I believe is a metaphor for letting go, and not necessarily a suicidal musing. What if I stopped tring in this relationship? What if I waited for you to make the effort, to make me feel like you care for me? After all, isn't that what we all yearn for, to be accepted, to be loved unconditionally?

A very good write.

Take care,

Michael x

Am in awe

Very nice Poem.