Fire-Stunned

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Aug 16, 2016


Cajoling you with all my might
to wake amidst the firelight,
but you just seem to sleep so tight
and thus regret is mine tonight.

I couldn't save you, but I tried.
"It isn't my fault that you died,"
I tell myself; each time I lie
insisting the blame isn't mine.

The fire, it spread so damn quick.
Who knew a cord could be a wick
and take my loved ones in a lick.
I was a kid, and life is sick.

I should have dialed 9-1-1
or to the neighbors should have run,
but I just stood there, fire-stunned,
as you were engulfed by the sun.

The fire burned so intensely,
all three-hundred-sixty degrees,
and I yelled your name so loudly
-- they only had time to save me.

The arms grabbed me as fire stole
all of the warmth within my soul.
This fire made my world so cold
as stranger's voices all consoled.

Childhood burned before my eyes
and all that I could do was cry.
Innocence had been swept aside
in reasoning: I'm why you died.

I'm older now, and every day
in my head these events replay.
They make me wish I would've stayed
and burned with you into the fray.

IdTakeABulletForYou

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Hello,

    Again, your use of the English language is the key in your work, but I shan't delve into that again.

    The story was unique and intriguing, but it did - at times - feel a little forced, but I think that was down to the rhyme scheme that you'd chosen. I think it's rather difficult to not come across slightly forced when one chooses this form. But as I said, it was slight.

    Regards,

    Bradley

  • 8 years ago

    by Keke Williams

    Beautiful and saddening. You know a work is great when it makes you feel such emotions strongly. This was an excellent piece and definitely a new favorite!

  • 8 years ago

    by Vicente

    I've been away from all of you guys, especially you my Turtle King, but this is the kind of work that makes me roil with emotion. I like how you keep mystery in the words, but the experience of regret and pain transfers to whomever is reading them. I can't offer much on constructive criticism because I love how you did this. I hope that, if this is an actuality of your life, you can find calm waters to let your regrets be cooled and healed.

  • 8 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Incredibly emotional and visual poem. So strong and really touches a note. Milly xx

  • 8 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Thank you all!

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