Foolface

by Michael Morbid   Aug 20, 2016


When I look in the bathroom mirror
what I see causes me much fear.

My reflection is not my own
but rather of a wicked crone.

She is trying to take my life
So I must quickly end this strife.

To the kitchen to get a blade
this evil skin will soon be flayed.

I take aim at the mocking face
and thrust the blade with rapid p

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by ether

    This piece has good themes for a dark poem however it's lacking execution.

    The very last word in the poem is incomplete, the first two line's don't rhyme and the lines that do rhyme seem very forced (rhyming "life" is very rarely done correctly, and coupled with "strife" makes an unimaginative cliche). I find it better to not push rhyming - if it doesn't come naturally then it is not necessary in poetry.

    There's not a whole lot of imagery created in this piece, it's more of a narrative. I find the beauty of short dark poems to be in the imagery rather than just being a recount/story. I think the imagery comes with practice so keep on writing and both flow and imagery will come :)

    All the best.

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