Anxiety sets in knowing that these days were used for sleep,
sleep I needed. What am I going to do?These thoughts I'm stuck with and want out of them. It likes to sit in my chest. Waiting, for a scream that I can't quite get out. In debted to my demons I try to wake up from this nightmare. But the pain is still there. How. Do. I. Stop. It. What are the options for something that is in themselves.. An instant sadness always falls over me when I hear this song. It's not vicious. My heart just knows. I feel sick, dead, tired I don't know what order that goes in but it goes with the theme. That not quite scream has built and all I can do is cry, till the tears fog my vision, till the pain is greater than this hangover. my makeup is smeared but thats the least of my worries. I am yelling to God "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?"My dog doesn't know what to do with me. She just looks at me waiting for my next move. Whatever that may be I just sit here and wail on the inside. I want to talk to someone but I am too emotional for it to make any sense...do you ever feel like that? Where it just makes you mad that you can't put your emotions into sentences.. I guess that could be a good thing.. How do I turn this around..it keeps on..over and over again. I know my worth is far more than this but I don't know how to shake it! I hate playing the waiting game sometimes I wish my life could be a montage where it fast forwards so I don't feel so useless. I am not doing anything productive as a human. Everyone I feel is making these great steps of finding their path..I look at myself and wonder why its so hard to do the same. Crying. Still. It hasn't stopped. Please tell me I'm not the only one. Please tell me you have felt like this before. I don't think I'm alone on this but I feel it. Certain people I know are waiting for a step I need to take but is it the right one?
