Roses Sweet

by Everlasting   Sep 2, 2016


I,

would love to smell
like roses sweet

And I,

would love to be
like roses sweet

but I...

------------ can't be ---------------

for I...

am some bird
that jumps on roses sweet
and lands
on thorns that sting

till I,

------------- bleed ----------------

Yet I,

stopped to pray for roses sweet,
and soared the skies
to see the ground from which I stood

till I,

-------------- found me --------------

but I,

saw the lands to be barren;
petals fallen,
no more roses sweet

-------------- just me ---------------

Written by: L.L.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by P.S.

    I love it, when I walk through fallen petals around my feet.

  • 8 years ago

    by ddavidd

    It is almost a perfect piece. very well structured and musical, rather metaphorically and visually, than in syllable counts and in the meter, which also sound so smooth.

  • 8 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    The style in this is by far the aspect that caught my eye the most. It is refreshing to see something both freeform in nature and systematic in style. The author's voice is powerful in a subtle way - which also amazed me. The gorgeously effortless tone makes this write not only soul shattering but nothing short of angelic either. Very well balanced and yet a little emotion heavy - which is common, but difficult to articulate so masterfully. This write shows a diverse set of skills and showcases the epitome of longing for another lifestyle - or even a person with another path to follow.

    P.s. This was added to my favorites - it was absolutely glorious

  • 8 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    Have to say this poem is a MASTERPIECE! :)

    Love the format.... very original.

    Also the imagery fantastic.....

    GREAT JOB Lucero!!

    Im nominating this one!! :))

  • 8 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Wow !!
    this piece is unique. .
    I love it...

    5/5

    gel

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