Falling in love with the wrong

Sometimes I wanna step outside of my body and yell at my mind. What was I thinking falling in love with him? How could I be in love with someone who breaks my heart? These tears run down my face often, but I'm so weak for him he apologizes and I leave it alone but every second I'm dying inside. Where is my dignity? Every second he's away I know he's with someone else but when he comes around me my softness shows. As I lay next to him feeling like a corpse , he caresses my cheeks and my lips . Even though they were dry he touched so gently. He said he doesnt like hurting me or making me cry but it happens again time after time. I hate myself for falling in love with him but I love him past death. He could set me on fire and while I'm bursting into flames I would still say I love you, to know those words are burned in my mouth. Loving you is like a bird being trapped inside a cage, I just want to be free from loving you, but somehow I think if I seen you again my heart would still skip a beat. What am I to do with myself? I am a fool , this I know because only a fool would love you after all the pain you put me through. I hate I love you.