Idle morning at the Dock

by J Nair   Sep 23, 2016


Ahoy ahoy, how does the whistle of the steamer blow?
Tu -Tut, Tu -Tut, the steamer blows while she goes gliding out to sea .

Ahoy ahoy, how do the sea men sing when their sturdy oars they swing?
Hyy yAa ho, hyy yAa ho!! The seamen at their oars go!!

Ahoy ahoy, how do the hooves of the horses sound, on those slippery harbor roads.
Tuck buck, tuck buck, tuck buck, tuck buck, pounds the horses hooves!!

Ahoy ahoy, how do the metal chains rattle, when the anchor is drawn, before the ship sets sail?
Clingty -clang, clingty -clang , like a coiling snake the chains comes twirling down.

Ahoy ahoy , how does a little boy, drown the sounds of his hungry belly?
Rambling aloud about all that goes on around, calling out ahoy ahoy - to all the passers by!!

Jay@22/9/2016

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Jay,

    I love the layout and the sound infused descriptions. I am surprised Ben didn't use the word 'onomatopoeia', it is true though, being able to use such words paints the image brightly and helps the reader to see through the writer's eyes.

    I would have to say this example is my favourite: Clingty -clang, clingty -clang , like a coiling snake the chains comes twirling down.
    ^
    I can almost feel the rusty weight of the chains and hear the loud sound as the chain lands.

    As Hellon states, what happens to the poor boy? Does he get a meal soon after, or is there an adventure before this happens?

    Well done, Jay. A lovely write.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 8 years ago

      by J Nair

      Hello Michael :)

      Thank you so much for your comment.

      It was fun writing this poem, especially as i was telling EM , its fun to recite it out loud as it transports you back to school days.

      I wrote both these poem as an assignment for a school kid and thoroughly enjoyed myself in the process.

      Yes Michael , I think some good soul like you did buy that young chap a hot meal before he went home that day. That's what i wld like to believe.

      Jay :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Hellon

    I think a of people may miss the message behind this poem because it's camouflaged in a way. There is so much hustle and bustle going on and you capture the reader in that straight away but...that little boy with the rumbling tum stays in my mind when the steamer's gone and the horses have retired for the night...what happens to him????

    • 8 years ago

      by J Nair

      Dear Hellon,

      A child's way of coping with things he cant control.
      They use their imagination to even distract themselves. the deeper the pain the louder the noise they make.
      To cover up grief or insecurities... they might act like clowns and entertain the adult world.

      Watch out for little hearts who wont even give themselves the liberty to cry. Acting strong...

      Thanks for your comments Hellon. Really appreciate it.

      jay

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Firstly, let me just say that it's lovely to see some new work from you, Jay.

    As the two ladies who have already commented on this piece say, the visuals and sounds that you create with words here is artfully done indeed . Your use of onomatopoeia is wonderful. I was transported as I read this piece and could almost smell the sea air!

    A superb poem, Jay.

    All the best,

    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by J Nair

      Hello Dear Ben,
      Its wonderful to hear from you :)

      I am so glad you liked the poem.

      I wonder if I should have added the sea gulls too...

      Jay

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I love this piece because of the visuals and the sounds within it and when reading it aloud it sounds fabulous.

    Fabulous, Em

    • 8 years ago

      by J Nair

      Dear Em,

      hehehehe, it is fun isn't it to recite this poem aloud. I felt like i was back in school. i used to love a good recitation especially if there was a lot of sound effects to it.

      Glad you like it.

      Thank you Em.

      Jay

  • 8 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    What a delightful visual and auditory piece. I could really imagine myself there listening to the sounds of the steamer. Milly x

    • 8 years ago

      by J Nair

      Dear Milly,

      I am so glad that you were able to visualize what i was seeing in my minds eye...when i wrote it.

      :) Thank You !

      jay

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