Comments : Rapunzel (sonnets I-V) - collaboration (HM)

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    One word: Wowzers!!!

    Fab Collab guys :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Wow! A collaboration of a 2 legendary Authors . ..what can I say ?. I'm a fan.. bravo ! Rapunzel was a story every kids love but grown up may love it too because of this. .This piece deserves to be place in the front page.
    A 5/5 for this.

    Good luck for the both of you.

    Gel

  • 8 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Simply amazing, you two should do collaborations more often, i LOVE this write :

    Nominated all day long!!

  • 8 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    FUUUUUUU you too! This is simply stunning. two awesome writers getting together and coming out with that! GOD SAKES!!! I have nominated and i expect it'll win. well done

    -sigh- its so magical and perfect..

    you guys just made my day.

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Holy moly!

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Daaaammmmnnnnnn..........Amazing! You two, ok, I've got nothing...lol.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Thanks so much for your comments. Can I just say that this was a real labour of love that took a lot of hard work and a few tantrums on my side, so thank you to Michael for putting up with me!
    In all seriousness, it is an honour to work with the man. A fine poet who has taught me so much, a real gentlemen and someone I have come to regard as a friend.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Ben despite you spitting your dummy out (kidding) this is a wonderful piece and for some reason every time I try to nominate it, the vote thing disappears so I truly hope it has been nominated. You gentlemen are two guys I look up to on this site as you have been there and helped me with many pieces and I'll admit Michael is a great man to work with but I will not put up with your tantrums Sir Ben :p lol
    I am back to comment in full so hold your horses lol...

    Part I
    I love the portrayal here of the wanting/needing of something that some people take for granted. It's hard wanting something and not being able to have it (I must admit this part made me cry a little with recent events in my life but it was beautiful and yes, temptation can ruin our lives whilst laughing in our faces.

    Part II
    I liked this part the description of what happened throughout Rapunzel's life were spot on an md I love the reference to her life being 'worthless sand' because this beautiful lady never saw the light of day so no one could see her beauty either, unfortunately.

    True love ingrained in blood is strong of will;
    when dreams are all we have, it lingers still.
    ^^
    I loved this couplet because we believe that blood is thicker than water but I'd it really? I beg to differ though do believe that we will cling on to dreams no matter the cost.

    Part III
    Here like any fairy-tale we see how love can make even the loneliest of people see the light. Love the change here that instead of her hair being used as rope it is now a loves wings. Perfect.

    Part IV
    And so the fairy-tale continues... Dun dun dun (lol) we can't have a fairy-tale without something bad happening can we? And so here it is the bloody witch finds out from words spoken and tries to kill poor Rapunzel whilst her prince is waiting for her to let down her hair.

    Part V
    Fantastic ending guys. I love a good fairy-tale and you told it so well all the ins and outs and I have to admit I don't now what came over me but that ending for me blubbering lol.

    5 great sonnets rolled into 1 perfectly written, image filled piece.
    Now, how about that for a comment haha instead of my rubbish first one.. I wasn't with it then.

    All the best, Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Em, all your comments are worthy and appreciated, so thank you.
    As for me 'spitting my dummy out', I promise I will never do the same to you, lol
    But Michael's used to me, so he's another matter...

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Lol Ben.. I forgot to ask how did you guys know the story so well.. Is there something you aren't telling me like your fixation with Disney princess films :) lol
    I challenge you to write a collab about the storyline of frozen!!

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Thank you all for these lovely comments.

    Em, your comment is almost as long as the poem itself! lol

    As Ben stated, this collaboration was a real labour of love. As much as Ben recognises my patience, I must say that, he agreed to the collaboration, despite its lofty ambitions.

    Ben's ability with this technical form has allowed this poem to be published to its high standard. I do believe, had this had been a solo venture it may have been left in the tall tower of drafts on my desk.

    Thank you, Ben for your talent and your friendship. I look forward to working with you again. Glutton for punishment, that's me! lol

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Michael - a glutton for punishment you may well be but, for my part, working with you again would be an honour.

  • 8 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    A Masterpiece indeed very worthy of two extremely talented poets. Fortunately I am voting late this week so I have just nominated Milly x

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Thanks, Milly. All the very best.

  • 8 years ago

    by Shruti

    This is really a masterpiece as mentioned. Superb!
    I have no words to write here. Just that Rapunzel will surely love it! :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Thanks, Shruti

  • 8 years ago

    by Augustus Black

    First of all I would like to congrats to both the writers for creating this magnificent write. This poem has a mighty strength to be on top on many levels.

    Sir Ben, I think you have created your own unique personality here as a sonnet king because you are very expert in doing that. This poem should deserve great victory. It is containing lots of emotions, lots of ancient imaginary and lots of things, really looks like some kind of ancient fiction which I am very pleased to read.

    So, I'm taking all sonnets at once and I say this is quite brilliant work. I know this was not easy, it would have taken enough thinking, time and blood. The most important part of this write I think is the ending, true love connection with other.

    All the best Sir, and sorry for late comment, I was busy in my college stuffs.

  • 7 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Oh! I am so very late in reading this masterpiece. A superb retelling of the age-old story of Rapunzel. I have always tried to write a sonnet, but have never written any. Sonnets are not easy to create as the writer has to conform to the rhyming scheme and meters in every line. To make five outstanding sonnets is definitely a bloody endeavor so hats off to you Ben and Mr. Darcy, our sonneteers for an awesome, brilliant work.

  • 6 years ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Ooh ... thanks for leading me to this Ben, I'm in awe of the pair of you ... I can't even imagine how hard it was to collaborate on one brilliant sonnet, let alone five!!!
    Hooray for happy endings and hats off to the sonnet kings of PnQ :-) x
    =^.^=