Comments : Post-Mortem Servility (haiku)

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Larry,

    Nice wintery imagery here.

    Just looking at the first line though. You may want to consider this:

    Petrified tree
    ^
    To my mind this describes the 'already dead tree' in a way where the imagery is more prevalent.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Sir Larry,

    Nice Haiku Sir .. I can imagine the vulture sitting on the dead tree and ready to scavenge. ..
    5/5

    Gel

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Larry, a breathtakingly good haiku that for some reason makes me thing of the scene on the lion king where simba is lying and the vultures see her whilst sitting on their tree then timone amd pumba come and save him.

    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Larry, wonderful write-so much packed into so few words-well done-

  • 8 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    I was once told that when you write a Haiku it should show rather then tell; and because it only has 3 lines what the writer sees he has somehow capture with lesser words with an impact.

    Its the title that drew me to read it and more so under nature category...very interesting!

    Already dead tree
    provides a safe nesting site
    for this cold vulture

    ^^Here I like the pairing of a dead tree and a vulture. Somehow the dead tree even though dead still stands strong. A vulture even though a scavenger and stands alone at times nicely pairs up with the dead tree.

    The word cold shows the character of a vulture and in the same way the tree too stands alone and cold. I don't know if I make sense but the dead tree and the vulture go hand in had.

    A rather dark write yet it holds a sadness only the crouching vulture and a dead tree knows..nicely penned.

  • 8 years ago

    by Everlasting

    O_o i ... guess I didn't see this one before

    Nice piece. I like it. Wish it could go to the front page.

    Oh well