Comments : Lost Girl (Form - Senryu)

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Augustas, these 2 are really powerful and say much in 2 short stanzas/forms.
    I have been in this situation where I tried contacting my best friend for days and it turned out he had been murdered and left for dead in a rubbish bin :( so brought back some memories but a really good write.
    Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Augustus Black

      Oh, Em.. I'm sorry for that. Thanks for the comment. And I want to tell you that in this case the small girl accidentally fell into the water tank. I feel very sad for that girl too.

  • 8 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Oh I watched this scenario ..And it went viral. I think this happened somewhere in Asia. .. China or Korea? am I right?

    You're good at dark poetry. .. well done. .

    Gel

    • 8 years ago

      by Augustus Black

      You are very knowledgeable, Ya.. It happened in Japan. It's very horrific. The small girl accidentally fell into the water tank.

  • 8 years ago

    by hiraeth

    There was something similar that happened here in Canada, a girl was found in the water tank, and the case is still going on, there was video footage of her in the elevator going up to the roof I believe, and it was odd. It's terrible that a life was lost.

    • 8 years ago

      by Augustus Black

      Thanks for the comment. Ya! it's very dreadful. When this happens, people only think that the child must have been kidnapped or lost.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Augustus,

    This really is a wonderfully dark senryu double - very clever. And the fact that these things have happened makes it that much harder to read.

    Well done on this,

    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    a topical poem. These short forms are powerful, especially when there is a 'turn' in the last section. This delivers an emotional blow to the reader and allows them pause for thought.

    Well done, this form is not as easy as they look.

    Take care,

    Michael