Five Lines Drawn From the Deep (Day 2 )

by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist   Oct 30, 2016


Not all the people
Who are sweet to you
Can't bring any harm
Remember, Candies
Can make your toothache

:)

3


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    It's ok Em.. if that is your perception, we all have our freedom on how we see things...

    I'm not saying all the people, (some of them I guess)
    Can give you the world and its beauty and break it on our head lol...

    sorry, my brain didn't work well I'm packing things right now...

    And for the name of the form I need some suggestion for that..

    and girl I know what's running on your brain...I'll PM you later..

    Miss yah
    Gel

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Gel firstly why don't you name your form.. Possibly 5 gels or simply just 5 ;) it needs a name and I am not great with coming up with anything original..

    Secondly, I know there is a lot going on within this piece. Yes, not everyone that is sweet or shows good intentions is actually a good person just look at all the sexual predators and online groomers; sorry that was my initial thought when I first read this. The next thought was that sweet could be replaced (not in reality just in my head lol) for love and toothache for heartache because I think that is what it's representing that sweet people or those that show 'love' or say they love us do not always mean it nor show it and they only want something in return thus breaking hearts in the process. I hope you understand my interpretation.
    All the best, Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done on this Gel.

    I like the comparison between the sweet and satisfying candy and the damage it can do your teeth with people who leave you worse off, despite your craving for them.
    A clever, and very wise, little piece of writing.

    All the best,

    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Gel,

    I do like this form of yours. Like the theme, it's sweet! Lol

    I have a possible tweak for you. Like this:

    Some of the people
    Who are sweet to you
    Can be harmful to you.
    Remember, candy
    Can give you toothache.

    ^
    Mainly, this improves the flow of this insightful statement.

    Well done,

    Michael x

More Poems By Golden AnGel Rhapsodist