Was

She was doing so good with coming to terms the mess her mind is.
She was feeling pretty proud of herself for being stronger than her weakness.

That doesn't mean it has been easy.
That doesn't mean she has been freed.
It means she's started to understand, she's stronger than what she thinks.

But one night the thoughts got to be just a little to much. The urge got a little to strong. She's taken a step back.

She's let her weakness get the best of her. She let her thoughts run wild. She didn't pick up a pen and write it all away. No, that was her biggest mistake.

Her mind had other plans for numbing the bad thoughts in her mind. She feels so ashamed and so disgusted.

The knife got the best of her this time.
The pen wasn't quite strong enough.
That doesn't mean she's gonna continue writing with a knife.

It just means she has to start over.
She's hoping it's for the last time.

She was doing so good with the help from a pen. She was doing so good trying to pretend.