Loss-vignette (acrostic)

by Brenda   Nov 24, 2016


Gasping for breath,
unable to comprehend
this chain of events unfolding in front of me.
Tearing at my heart, I am
engulfed in grief,
due to circumstances beyond my control...
-
Death is so final.
Everything you know just
stops existing. My world will never be
the same without you by my side.
Reality is not a dose of pain I care to partake in.
Offertories of a pound of flesh in exchange for
you to be here, I will gladly yield.
Except it is too late for that now,
debts needed to be paid in full...
-
Going forth will not be easy,
under these circumstances.
I'm not sure how I will manage to navigate.
Losing you, yet I'm still here,
that just isn't right...

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Gutted destroyed guilt. Nice scrostic; subtle and neat. X

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Michael, thank you so much! I appreciate you reading this-

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Brenda, like Ben I am sorry I missed this but my goodness you just gave me the cry I really needed today. I am ill and the ex is pestering me so feel rotten and my boiler is broken too.. Boohoo so thanks for that.
    Loved this so much and I feel like this every day since my Nan died.
    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Em, I'm sorry you've had such an awful day! Is it an ok thing that this made you cry? Some times its good to have a good cry, get it all out. I hope you boiler is up and running soon and your ex leaves you the heck alone! Hugs my friend!

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Brenda,

    Here I am as promised for your reward! A comment from yours truly for coming second in our comp - you lucky woman!

    To the poem (which I'm sorry I missed). This resonated with me as I have been surrounded by a bit of death myself recently. How do we move forward? Sometimes, we think we are okay, and then the wind seems to just get knocked out of us, our heads swim and we wonder how things can ever be the same again. I suppose they can't; not exactly. But as we go through life, we learn to live with the dull throb that is left behind for each of our hurts.

    Well done on this powerful write,

    Ben

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Ben, thank you so much! What an awesome reward for placing in our contest. I really appreciate your wonderful in-depth comments. Take care-

  • 7 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    "Reality is not a dose of pain I care to partake in." -- This is poignant and moving; such a quotable poem this is!

    A sad and relatable piece, for death is something that no one in this world can escape experiencing, yet that does not make it easier to endure.

    I hope you've recovered from whatever triggered you to write this piece.

    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Stephen, thank you so much. I dug into past losses to put this together. It's as much a part of life as being born. It is wonderful to hear from you! Hugs-

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Brenda,

    I have just read this and then Naomi's and your reply. Its good to see you experimenting with words, ideas and feelings. In a strange kind of way I think this helps our muddled minds prepare it for potential traumas ahead. Not predictive, but life certainly does throw rubbish our way, so best be prepared.

    Nice piece of work. Question: is this from the perspective of the deceased or the bereaved?

    Take care,

    Michael x

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Michael, first off, thank you so much! It's from the bereaveds' point of view. I totally agree with you on it helping us clear our minds for what is to come. I know a lot of people feel guilt because they are still living and their loved one is not. I tried to put those three stages of losing someone into one write. Hugs-

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