Prisoner

This was awesome

Wow!!

Well done indeed.

Excellent suggestions from Hellon. Just polishing a wonderful poem.

Take care,

Michael

I was sucked in by this poem because of its rawness which I totally liked. I have a couple of suggestions which you can consider or not...

I had a nightmare
last night that my hair
was set on fire.
The blue flames were

^^ the is not necessary

invading my guts,
burning through my
chest, then withdrawing
fast, only to
cover me again.

^^

I'd have a break here to let the reader digest what you're saying.

It took twenty four
minutes for my
soul to leave
my body.

Again..I'd leave a space here...

I died.

I sit down
and the screams
electrify me.

They burned the house of that widow last week,
it was the smallest house in town.

I look at my hands.
I imagine my bones being fractured,
a bone by a bone.
What could be happening now in
those dark rooms?

A finch hopping on the balcony distractes *distracts *me.

I sit down and
feel my ribs, still intact.

This poem had a spooky feel to it...was it a dream? or perhaps another experience in some other life???