Fire; or flame?

How is it possible to feel everything and nothing at all?
Like the moon and stars have both collided;
And the world has come crashing down on you in waves of black,
Drowning you in the most painful of ways.
How is it possible to be so heartbroken;
That your heart is screaming,
But not a single tear escapes.
You just sit there;
So broken.
Contemplating the fragments of a life that you could've had.
That you should've had.
That you didn't have.
How can you live knowing your soul mate;
The only person you have ever truly loved,
Might be falling in love with someone else?
After leaving you broken on the floor;
Only for them to move on and create you as a second bad relationship.
I only ever loved you.
I knew it was wrong but what could I do?
Focusing on someone else was easier than admitting that our love was dying;
Suffocating so fast in the harsh words
That we never even hesitated to throw each other's way.
Words that stole the air from our lungs;
Like falling ten feet from a tree,
The impact stealing your breath in the worst of ways.
It wasn't that they were better than you;
Or more put together.
I couldn't handle knowing I was losing you,
Losing us.
It ripped my heart from my chest,
Only to smash it with a rock,
Drown it in acid;
And give it back to me like I could live with it.
I couldn't.
So if you're here to walk all over me;
Don't.
If you're here to tell me you don't love me anymore;
Don't.
I've cried tears you'll never see.
I've bled from wounds that haven't even begun to heal.
I've lost trust that I never even gained.
Because you cut every tree;
Fearing a fire.
So tell me;
Was your love for me even a fire?
Or only a flame?