by Em
I must say I saw the title and thought hmm not snakes lol they give me the creeps but I do like where this is heading. |
by Hellon
Violence of any kind is unacceptable but when it's aimed at a defenceless child it makes it even more so. I think you have done a great job with this poem...not giving blow by blow accounts but still, very tactfully getting the message out there. |
by Mr. Darcy
Thanks, Hellon. It's still not quite right, I've been tweaking now for hours. |
by Ben Pickard
Michael, |
Did you change the title Mr. D? |
by Mr. Darcy
Thanks, Ben, Gel. This was written straight onto the 'submit poem' page. I wrote the main structure, then posted it in a raw state. From last night till about 6 hours ago I tweaked it, including the title so many times. Lol |
by Brenda
Michael, Wow,wow,wow! I am blown away by this. Your visuals, the story, your whole layout of this write is just amazing. I like to think people who abuse children have a special place in hell reserved for them. So well done- |
Mr Darcy, |
by Mary
Wow, Michael, you have a certain style of writing that is just incredible. I agree with the others, this is a dark subject matter that you quickly get your point across, I feel in a unique way. You have a way of setting up your subject so that the reader can picture themselves there watching the scene unfold. Very well written Michel. |
by Meena Krish
I've never seen anyone write about a snake so descriptively making it sound like an assassin! The layout of the poem too with spaces in between builds up the momentum keeping the read on edge. |
by Naughtymouse
Michael, your writing always carries with it the most amazing imagery. Epicness. |
Suspenseful and amazing imagery. |
by Em
Hello Michael, It's me again. I saw your comment on Jessica's poem and had to come back as I knew you had changed the title and most definitely tweaked this little gem ALOT making it even more perfect than when I first read it. |
The worst abuse is sometimes the stuff that can't be seen. Striking a child's esteem every time he attempts to become something lasts a lifetime. |
by Mr. Darcy
Very true, Larry. The worst scars are the invisible permanent ones. |