Comments : Stressed to my max

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Naomi, this is absolutely fantastic.
    The imagery is perfect. Love the sound affects.

    1 This is just wow. I would be crapping myself at Freddie's fingers scraping. When we are having a bad day we always find it hard to eat, drink, sleep etc..

    2 Stress levels rise as do the aching temples and my goodness do I know about it lol, you described it well. I think 'small movements causing it throb' should have to before throb.

    3 This is fantastic. We feel like the world is against us and sinking to the bottom bit I guess when you reach the bottom the only way is up.

    4 Loved this ending. We do Lt things get on top of us and sometimes we can't help it.
    I think It would be better if there was a line separating the last line but just my thoughts.

    Great job,
    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Em thank you. I have made edits as per suuggestions - if okay with you?

      The scratchy throat is actually a throat infection. Our big holidays are over xmas so trying to get everything done at my 9-5 job.. lol then after fri i have a few weeks off it. Ill just have my night job so a lot less stress! Just making myself sick stressingover deadline of fri. Lol

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    N, loved this! Your visuals are spot on. It is crazy how stress can make us that I'll, but it does. Hang in there,, don't overdue it.hugs-

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Naomi,

    this is a very visual write. I especially like the Freddie reference. The onomatopoeia works well with this, the scratching, thumping and splashing encompassing the reader, helping them feel the extreme high level of stress, high enough to feel sick.

    Well done xx