Nothing Left (Reverse Haiku)

by stormingdance (Lessa)   Dec 17, 2016


The clouds in all their splendor

Weep into the sky

Nothing left but surrender

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7/5/7

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Fantastic.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    I like this Jessica, it's very creative to arrange such an ancient form this way. Like a traditional Haiku, this form is about nature, a season. Maybe with the rain clouds help the reader think of the month April and it's associated showers? I think however, that there could be a human link, something about rain and tears equating to a heart opening fully. This form also has a turn, or a pivot (volta) in line 3. Here we see after the rain/tears and revealed truths, there really is only 'surrender ' : surrendering to another completely, perhaps?

    Jessica, if this poem does have a human element, perhaps post as a Senyru, or if it's a bit of both a, Sintuit.

    Either way, a good poem. X

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Jessica, I am blown away from your technique! Reverse haiku? Brilliant and beautifully written!

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    "Reverse Haiku"

    ^^

    Jessica - You're just making these forms up now, lol Aren't you content with taking the forms there are, mashing them up and making them look ridiculously easy? It seems not, and now - here we have you - creating your own unique one!
    I like the subtle use of rhyme employed here and - as usual - your wonderful imagery.

    Take care

    • 7 years ago

      by stormingdance (Lessa)

      Haha. Nope. Gotta keep mashing up and rearranging. :) This is actually not my first Reverse haiku. If My Heart Were A Flower is on my profile somewhere. Thanks and take care!