Broken Song

This is really a very nice poem. All I feel is the great imagination of the beyond world. Great poem in my view. Happy New Year 2017.

As I said, Gel, when you pmd me this, I think this is just about the best thing I have read from you in terms of content, rhyme and imagery and so it is nominated!

All the very best,

Ben

Hello Gel,

from the title, I am able to presume this is a poem full of sadness. A 'broken song' for me symbolises a song where the singer cannot hold the notes without breaking them. Perhaps from a broken heart?

Next, the scene is set: A eerie one of pale moonlight and clouds - this would set a tone of bleakness over any landscape - a good description here.

Then, the turn of nature. in just a few lines, we have owls, cats and crickets; even the tree complaining about the cold breeze (if you want this wind to be harsher, Ii would substitute for: gale, or wind, perhaps?)

Now, would you believe it, out of the blue a question... I like this Gel, asking questions always ensures the reader mind is engaged. Dance, well, why not? lol The fact you did not say "would you like to dance, or shall we dance?" instead, just Dance? on its own, this really makes for a compelling word. On its own, it conjures images of dancing, flowing dresses, etc. But, with a question mark, it is leading, urging for commitment. I really like this. :O)

Like a slap - the scene is not of two dancing, it is of you, one person dancing with her broken song. Here I picture a lone lady humming a tune, a sad tune. Again, this is a vivid image.

Another slap - the pain - I see this as a falling to your knees in despair, perhaps?

Then - stop. Like a red light, you demand action to cease by example - not by words! Clever!

Slap, slap, slap - words (again) this time not yours, but with the ability to kill beds full of flowers - not just one or two, 'every' one! This just shows the power of these words. Wow!

It is as if on your knees by a pond or stream perhaps brings 'bubbles' of memories back - though, not back to haunt and hinder, no, the healing water takes them away, one by one popping away, away from further harm. Flowers can grow once more, a song can be sung without a break - a beautiful song.

The journey from heartache, to completeness is shown here. Using pain to empower change and become stronger.

Well done, Gel. An enjoyable write.

Take care,

Michael x

Beautifully written, reality of pain but optimism of the future. A turning point established in poetry.

Gel, wonderfully written. Although sad, I felt the optimistic thread, you can't be taken down. You might be taken to your knees but never out! I like that a lot about you Gel, your resilience always shines through. Well done-