A day went by

I can't be analytical of people's writings as I don't feel comfortable doing so.

All I can say is you pulled me completely in with this, as a fellow rhymer it's often tricky to convey what you mean. This nails it completely.

Craig

You have managed to put the pain of losing someone into such eloquently put words. I was nodding along the entire time as I read this. I'm sorry for your loss but I thank you for writing this. Well done-

Hi, I must say that Bens comment intrigued me too take a look at this piece and I was not disappointed and you are now in my favourites because this is fantastically written with unforced rhyme and I think a good rhythm. I must say that this is completely relatable for me and probably many others on the site.

1/ Greif does different things to us all, some can shut it out and others well, we cry, scream, shout etc but we cope in our own way though I'm with you in this as when I lost my Nan I think I lost a good couple of tears because she was like a second mum to me.

2/ I totally agree with this we feel like nobody has gone through this kind of thing even though we all suffer and if we lose someone close it's difficult and we do feel alone.

3/ Things pass in a blur when we are grieving and it's like all days merge into one unbearable one.. Though now I'm questioning whether this is about grieving or lost relationship... Hmm.

4/ This is a hard hitting part and a relatable one too for many different reasons.

5/ Loved the rhymes here because they aren't used often but they are fantastic. Time stands still for no man, woman or child does it regardless of what we are going through.

6/ This has got to be my favourite part of this piece because how can the sun rise and flowers bloom when you are feeling depressed and why can no one feel how hurt you are, why can't they see your pain let alone feel it right? If only people could see.

7/ Wow. Again, I will say days merge into one when we are feeling sad and alone and we do lose track of times as everything passes in a blur.

8/ I know this feeling. Some days are better than others though, right??

9/ A very powerful ending. Why, why and why? So many questions of why these things happen to us yet no answers. I've been told we only get thrown in at the deep end if we are strong enough to cope with it though I cant swim so that doesn't answer my why questions lol.
A fab write.
Em

It is true that when we feel like this, the days become a blur and we wonder what it's all about. But also, how can the world simply go on when we ourselves are so miserable?
A sad write that's well told and rhymed throughout.

All the very best,

Ben

Hi there,

I like this one. .. I think this is the first poem I read from you...I can feel the feelings you want to portray and very good rhyming as well. ..

well done

5/5 for this

Gel