I'm sorry you have such a fight within yourself. Depression is such a rough disease to live with or attempt to live with. Never, ever forget you are important and your life has meaning. You may not see it but it is. There is a purpose you are here. It breaks my heart to hear that you think your daughter would be better off with you gone. You are the center of her universe. I don't know how old she is but I'm guessing she's fairly young. I lost my dad to an accident when I was 7 and it had lasting effects on me. The loss of your parent is profound for a child. I would give anything to have another day with my dad. I know it's hard when you have naysayers in your ear but you really have to tune them out. I don't know if you have seeked professional help at all or anything like that but maybe talking to a neutral party would help, give you some coping skills to be able to deal with the day to day so that your dream time matches your day time. I wish you all the best and I'm pulling for you and your daughter-hugs-