Dancing into darkness (Sonnet - first attempt)

by Kasie   Jan 4, 2017


A bright fluorescent gleam in thine own eyes,
Beneath the sphere of fire so high above.
Embraced within harmonic lullabies,
Descend into a trance, let's dance, my love.

Return unto me sweet unconsiouness,
Darkness fills the air, devouring my sighs.
Subdue thy labyrinth to quietness,
Unseen struggles hidden under tired eyes.

A beckoning relief calls me to sleep,
Behold the sweet remembrance of my dreams.
Escape distress, Thy peace is what I keep,
Euphoric freedom from evil extremes.

Harmonic dreams of memories replay,
Adventuring into dreamland, hooray!
- - - - - - - - - - -

By Kasie F

This is my very first attempt at a sonnet. I know it's not perfect and I'm sure there are mistakes. I am open to advice on how to make it better.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Abstract Poet

    Beautiful poem.

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello, Kasie.

    This is head and shoulders better than my first attempts. You have a good grip of this form already. As you mentioned, you would like a clearer understanding of stressed and unstressed syllables. This I feel will be one of the areas that Ben will take the lead and I will listen.

    Overall great effort.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 8 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Kasie,

    As I said in my message to you, you really do show promise with sonnets, especially as this is your first. Not to belittle this one in anyway - it's very good - but, in my experience, the more you write them, the easier they get and the more enjoyable too.

    Michael's 'sonnet workshop' will be a very good idea and should be a real help to all involved over the next few weeks.

    Well done and all the best,

    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

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