The Maid O' the Loch (Colloquial)

by Hellon   Jan 5, 2017


There wiz a maid wae auburn hair
an' oh sae fair o' face
she wiz a beauty in hur time
sae full o' charm an' grace.

Many suitors hid cum chappin'
upon this maiden's door
bit her heart she'd geid tae anither
sae many years afore.

She loved hur man, o' how she did
sae fond, she loved him well
bit his rovin' eye caught anither
an' he wiz captured by hur spell.

The maiden tried sae very hard
fur tae win his favours back
bit hur man wiz quit enchanted
wae the new love he did tak.

She couldnae live withoot hur love
this maiden cast aside
fur she hid waited o' sae lang
fur tae be hur loved one's bride.

O'er a loch sae dank an' murky
wiz a brig where lovers met,
a mist closed in aroon' hur
an' so the stage wiz set.

The chill wiz bitin' the chill wiz cruel
still the maiden passed this way
ne'er tae be seen again
or so the legend says.

A blue ribbon that once tied the curls
upon hur pretty auburn hair
wiz found tied tae the brig
the only sign that she'd been there....

@Hellon 2nd March 2009

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  • 7 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Hellon

    this made me smile so broadly :)

    I really love how you wrote this, it is full of a sad charm of this maidens heartache and considering the story has such a wonderful atmosphere to it, I LOVE how this is finished with the image of the ribbon tied to the bridge is stark and really pops in my mind. I loved the rhyming and tempo too.

    Can't say enough about this write, just fantastically written and definitely deserved to be on the front page.....for like a month lol!

    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by CJ Maleney

    I wish my mum was still here she would have loved this as do I.

    Fantastic writing

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hellon,

    This really is a wonderfully charming poem, if not in content (which is rather chilling) then in rhyme and language.
    A sad tale woven beautifully in old Scottish that's beginning to come rather naturally to me! As you know, I have been reading Burns and am almost done with Kidnapped and neither will present a challenge after conquering this...d'ye ken that? :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    One word: Nominated.

    Em
    Edit: I am so glad I nominated this and it's front page, well done.

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