The war within (sonnet)

by Kasie   Jan 8, 2017


The mind is but a battlefield of pain,

Decapitating ev'ry joyful thought.

A memory should never die in vain,

For I will battle everything distraught.

~~~

The war is far from over, evil fiends,

Reclaiming ev'ry thoughtful memory.

Releasing all the evil from the dreams,

For I will always fight until set free.

~~~

The painful thoughts are begging my defeat,

Advancing freely, marching into war.

A fearsome grip upon the sword you meet,

An evil fiend you are declared, no more.

~~~

Retreating from the darkened shadows blind,

For I will leave dark memories behind.

By Kasie F

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Kasie, you really have taken with these sonnets. A dark brooding write, good storyline that you put together really well in sonnet form. Well done-

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Kasie,

    As I said to you when you sent me your first sonnet, you showed real potential with this form. You have, very quickly, fulfilled that potential and written a wonderful sonnet with perfect meter,

    Well done,

    Ben

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you so much for your help and encouragment.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Katie, I do believe you have mastered this form. Well done, I am so pleased. :D

    Not only have you written this in lovely iambic pentameter, you have also composed a problem in the first 2/3 and then dealt with it in the last quatrain, finally summarising it in the final couplet. Bravo!

    One question though, should, 'ev'ry thing' be one word?

    Well done, Kasie. Excellent work!

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, I finally I understand iambic pentameter a little more, though I still struggle from time to time. The more I write, the more I understand and appreciate the form. Also, you are correct (ev'ry thing) should be one word. I post on my phone, so it tends to change my words. Thank you for pointing that out.

  • 7 years ago

    by ddavidd

    A joyful read

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

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