This is excellent. Obviously, I loved the story throughout but the ending was great. Dark and well rhymed and fluent to read.

Well done,

Ben

Hi,

I love the rhythm all throughout, it keeps running into my brain.
Very good visual there... I can see the red kid opening the box...this is fun to read..

Well done
5/5

Gel

_double comment_

First things first.. I looked up the word queef and had to laugh at the definition it came out with... I'm guessing it doesn't mean that though it would be quite funny if it did anyway to the full poem.

What a great story, with fabulous unforced rhyming throughout.
Em

Epic, deliciously dark and your word choice and meter are spot on and the imagery is fantastic!!!

Loved it.

Ben