Oh look at me

by Brenda   Jan 15, 2017


Oh look at me, oh look at me,
don't pretend you don't see me...
Oh look at me, oh look at me,
don't pretend you don't see me...
-
All these years, out on the streets
has done a number on my physique.
So as you walk on past ignoring me,
know I am not unlike "Oh Christmas Tree"...
-
Oh look at me, oh look at me,
I was once young and successful...
Oh look at me, oh look at me,
I too, had it all, just like you...
-
My eyes had shone so brightly,
my step had been just lightly.
But drink and drug has dragged me down,
my arms like boughs, weighted down.
Not with tinsel and baubles abound,
just that crack pipe with its hissing sound...
-
So as you pass me on the street,
take pause,
thank your God
you aren't like thee...

Carols and Claus submission- "Oh Christmas Tree"

5


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    This is yet another awesome write B. I love how you wrote the piece and your voice in it too.

    Great writing!!

    Ben

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Ben, thank you, thank you. It's crazy, I was humming the song and the words just arrived.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    A hard hitting piece that says to me "don't judge anyone until you have taken at least one step in their shoes"
    Well done Brenda.

    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Em! It is true, we all tend to judge.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Judge's comment:

    "Not only has this writer turned a well know Christmas carol into a poem; it is also a poignant one. This poem highlights the fact that you can't judge a book by its cover, and this cover, a homeless person who has been a victim of drink and drugs. I found myself singing this and allowing the new words to penetrate, and they did!"

    Well done, Brenda!

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you Michael! Were you one of the judges for this? Cool beans!

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Brenda,
    I liked this one.. I found myself almost saying as you would Oh Christmas Tree....

    It made me think long and hard at some things I obviously turn a blind eye to..

    Thanks.

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      N, you are so welcome and thank you!

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Brenda,

    A thoughtful poem that hits hard. I like the festive simile of this person being compared to a Christmas tree and being weighed down by life.
    I think we would all do well to take note of what's going on around us a little more...and not just at Christmas time.

    All the best,

    Ben

    • 7 years ago

      by Brenda

      THanks Ben, how very true are your words.

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