Comments : Blue Memory

  • 8 years ago

    by Ren

    Hey Shruti!

    I absolutely love this poem! Great word choice and the layout adds to the beauty even more.

    "And you 'lent' me
    the shade in which
    blue was
    the darkest."
    ^^
    Love those lines!

    Excellent write :)

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      So glad you liked it. Thank you!

  • 8 years ago

    by Phil

    What a fantastically woven piece.. I think we have all been there in a love that wasn't meant to be, didn't last long or was one sided at least once in our lives and if W haven't then unfortunately, we will be. Glad its nominated.

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      Oh wow...! I can't believe it.
      And you're right...I guess almost everyone can relate. Thank you for your comment and reading it! :)

  • 8 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Caught a typo, pallet -> should be palette.

    Mind if I make a suggestion?

    "I asked you for a share of
    your turquoise
    to add in my pallet,
    you know?
    And you 'lent' me
    the shade in which
    blue was
    the darkest."

    I think you should reword it to "And you 'lent' me/the darkest shade/of blue", just as effective, less words and flows better, in my opinion. Up to you though!

    I nominated this poem earlier in the week because it resonated with me. :)

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      Thank you for pointing that out! ^-^
      And I agree with your suggestion. Thank you for that too. :)
      But umm...won't it mean that the person lent me a dark blue instead of turquoise...?
      I actually meant that since turquoise is a mixture of green and blue, so, the person lent me the shade in which the amount of blue was more than green...the darkest...

      Ah...I need to improve my english...
      Thank you for the nomination.
      :)

  • 8 years ago

    by hiraeth

    I just saw your reply, if that's what you were going for then, then what you had earlier works! You can also try saying 'darkest shade of cyan'? Either works, and your English is fine!

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      I guess I will go with turquoise lol; it holds a memory for me.
      But am grateful for the suggestion, because am definately going to write a poem on `cyan` next. :)
      I love cyan.!

  • 8 years ago

    by Gem

    This was awesome in the way that so many different meanings can be taken from it. I adored the imagery. Very well done!

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    This brought a tear to my eye. So relatable and well written.
    Take care, Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      Thank you, Em.
      :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    This is such a fantastic write!!!!

    I think that anyone with a heart can identify with this, from the first line the reader is completely drawn in and EVERY line just pulls you deeper into the emotion of it, kind of like Alice and the looking glass.

    I really like your word choice and structure and how you've used your punctuation to control the reader.

    Can't say enough about this write. saved to favourites off the bat and if I could have nominated it I would have.

    All the best

    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      Thank you very much!
      :)

  • 8 years ago

    by nancy

    sorry bt somewhere i didn't lyk it' it's nt dat it wasn't good bt
    mayb its bcoz of my annoyance with u

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      Sure. It is upto you how you relate with it. :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Sirona_Orleans

    YOLO.... okay... sorta sad... but I really like it. It's like I can idealize with it...someway.

    • 8 years ago

      by Shruti

      OMG!
      Thanks!

    • 8 years ago

      by nancy

      u r most welcum miss " sharodi hazarika"

  • 6 years ago

    by Vanesa

    I asked you for, and you lent me.
    Wow. Has that been the premise of my life lol.

    Love this poem. I think I like the sadness at the end.