Comments : When The Time Comes

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Well done, nice rhyming throughout and your message was well spoken.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Hi, i have read a little of your poetry and I must say I really enjoy it especially your rhyming ones as they seem to flow so well but then again I am partial to abit of rhyming poetry. :) I like the title as its ominous and I feel keeps us guessing as it could be a time for anything really.

    1/ This opening is very relatable and powerful I think. Yes, we may die inside and feel we have nothing left to live for but in all honesty we have ourselves at least even if it feels bleak at the time.

    2/ No, peace isn't too much to ask for but I guess in this day and age we will never get it. I sense you have been to war from this stanza or maybe I am reading too much into it.

    3/ We all have baggage, scars etc but will only be taken when its our time though I am an atheist this is what I think and until our time we will be strong enough to carry on even through the times sent to test us. Not one of us is immortal and I think none of us would like to be either, I certainly wouldn't.

    4/ Now wouldn't it be nice if an angel was looking after us and could pull us from the mistakes we made not just from death, right?

    4/ I reckon as long as you live life without regret you'll be fine.

    6/ If we had the answers (in my opinion) we would wish we didnt bother especially as they'd give us the answer to when we were to die and why I bet so many of us would go beforehand anyhow lol just my opinion.

    7/ Answere has an extra e on here. Powerful ending.

    Together an all round wonderful piece of poetry.
    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Thank you, I guess it's one of those where it could mean different things to different people. Quite often these are hidden meanings in the things I write and sometimes they are as basic as they appear. All I can say is it's what was in my head at the time of writing

      Craig

  • 7 years ago

    by Ren

    Another excellently written piece from you here! Your rhyming is smooth and your words evoke such powerful emotions and memories...and there's also that strong curiosity that makes the reader pause a few times and want to ponder life, too.

    "I have died so many times inside
    And yet I still keep breathing.
    I feel like I should fade to nothing
    And yet my heart keeps beating."

    Fantastic job!!!