Do I even love you now I wonder
Or is it just the idea of you
The vision of our perfect life in view
The one that I held close to
my heart for all the years of my youth
The very reason I keep coming back to you
The feelings I seek to relive, alter reality for a bit
Pity did I know how it would really turn out
That the man I see now is the man I know would have never worked out
The love in my heart for you has had its fill
Now all that's left is time to kill
Till I finally find the strength to move on and let go
Then we can finally stop with this to and fro
And the pointless talks, the hollow tune
Of a song playing off key
The words make no sense yet the singing does not cease
With you now it's all masquerade and lies
Always having to hide
The secret meetings, hush hush places
The play of charade
A guessing game of what runs through your head
You dont give me your all, nor do you accept less from me
Its funny how I thought stripping bare of our clothes
Could help me ease my doubt
That I would finally see the depth in you
Touch a part of you that you thought was long lost
You in turn behaved just like I expected you to be
A box for which I never could find a key
Corroded over time
We are like two pieces that don't fit
Do we even know it
No harmony in our works
Always bickering, at loss for words
A need to connect
Always left halfway
The shield you put up
I can't penetrate
I know it wasn't fair for me to want what you cannot give
To rob a person of what he truly is
You are who you are,
and I can't accept that even though you give it to me willingly
I wonder why I settle for less
I don't want your shallow make believe love
I have no need for being a spectator to your life, see you amidst your kid and wife
I wish you peace and the best in life
But know that that doesn't mean
That I will forgot all that we once were
though that would make things easy for me
Not having to dissect every one of our feelings and what was said
Look at all you do in scrutiny
Don't you think I want that
Don't you think I feel sorry for how things turned out to be
All the while I wanted
Was a beautiful end to this chapter of you and I
A fond memory of us as closure
No guilt, No lust, just the purest of affection
A place where we need not be scared
Please can we settle for that
