Comments : Breadcrumbs

  • 7 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Personally, I love the idea of breadcrumbs in poetry, they can be really fun and unique metaphors or even images when used correctly, and you definitely did that here with your title.

    Your introduction really pulled me in. It was simple enough to follow, but it also introduced the story you're telling here quite well.

    Normally I am the furthest thing from a fan of rhyming poetry, but you actually did rather well with yours. Even though they were simple, when they showed up, they made sense for the most part. Although, I do want to say if you are going to rhyme some of the time and not throughout the entirety of the piece it does mess with the poem's flow and can annoy some readers. Whether you write for others or you write for yourself will probably determine how you respond to that piece of this comment, though.

    Overall this was an interesting read and I am glad I took the time to visit it

    • 7 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      All you said is relevant and it's understood.

      This I wrote for me, massively so, think upon it as a venting thing. The metaphors are well hidden and you would have to know my mind to get those. Jesus I don't know it myself at times so good luck on that front.

      Personally, it's very special to me. It tells a story of which most will never know.

      A rhyme is just a rhyme and a poem just a poem. I'll make the buggers merge, I do so without knowing.

      Sorry I am a child and I couldn't resist

      Regards

      Craig