Soul mate

Lately I've been reminiscing;
Breaking down walls I'd long since
Had up in an attempt to finally confront
My past face to face.
Broken cement and a watery flow of memories that I'd hidden
Somewhere in the back of mind spring to surface;
Crowding my thoughts until I can only sort them out one at a time.
Along with the memories,
Are the deep apologies and truths that I locked away;
Not yet ready to face them as they sprang up.
But as they surface now,
I can't help but cry.
A small part because nothing turned out how I wanted it to.
But mostly
Because when we started falling apart I never told you how much I loved you.
I never showed you.
I could never say the words enough;
And no hugs or kisses could ever do the job.
I'm feeling the same way I was those first few months after I lost you,
The first time.
And it's raw.
It is unbearably raw.
The words I miss you do no justice to the way I feel;
And the words I love you do no justice to the way I feel about you.
And so,
with the powerful emotions comes powerful hope;
Hope that we will one day be ok
That we will have the future we always wanted,
No matter how far off it may be.
You're not the love of my life.
You're my soul mate,
And that's a forever thing.