This is absolutely beautiful! Your rhyming is spot on and the imagery is truly wonderful to read! Fantastic job!

I'm terrible at critiquing things I simply see things that make me go wow, sometimes sad and sometimes make me of see a new beauty in things.

However! This seems like it's a torn emotion to me. It's almost bordering on forbidden fruit territory and what the heart desires yet refuses, or denies.

I could be so so wrong and probably am but yet it has that undertone.

Either way it's still bloody lovely.

Craig