Still, they are days when losing her
feels like everything but a favor God did to me.
When all those quotes about temporary people
and temporary friendships
do not do their job and
I wish for nothing more
than to know how she is doing.
If she’s eating good,
if her grades are in check,
if she has a new crush.
They are days where I forget
her betrayal,
how she treated me like dirt,
acted like I didn’t exist for days,
kicked me to the side for her new friends
how she no longer looks me in the eye
and only remember her laughter,
the deep conversations at the bar
the intimacy between us
the familiarity
all that language
all that culture
and those days, those days are the worst
because I make everyone else pay for her mistakes
I make everyone feel like a bad friend
I project my hurt unto people,
that had nothing to do with it
