Here comes the real challenge

by deeplydesturbed   Jun 22, 2017



Today I woke up in a sweat
chilling me to my core
going to stand, my legs give out
dropping me roughly to the floor

As I lay in a sweaty mess
My body starts to shake
I know what I need to stop it
but it’s finally time to be mentally awake

with a bit of self-motivation
and some very shaky hands
I force myself to grab the edge of the bed
And make myself stand (straight)

I am seeing shadows
Right in front of me
My mind is telling me to drink
But I cannot, you see?

I know the shaking and sweating
Is just a mental thing
I have to keep reminding myself
It’s my body and mind reacting

The challenge now has just begun
To keep myself all here
I cannot go hiding away again
Deep inside of wine and beer

    report violation
6


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Ren

    Sweet lover! This is such a powerful and expressive piece- I can feel and see the struggle and I honestly feel for you! Like Brenda said, I absolutely applaud you for your strength! This is one of the hardest falls to stand back up from, but you will, and you'll stand even taller and stronger and more beautiful than ever before! Much love, peace, and healing to you hon! <3 Keep putting one foot in front of the other, you can do this! And remember, you always have us to lean on if ever needed!

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Nams, I applaud you for your strength and awareness. It's never easy to admit the struggles we go through fighting these demons. I believe in you Nams, you got this, but it won't be easy and you know that. Out of the ashes you shall rise! Hugs my friend, stay strong.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    N, this is a real honest and raw write of which I bow my head, take off my hat etc etc because I truly knowhow difficult it is, how strong you are and how much faith I have that you will get through this and I also like the fact you rhymed this piece so well even if it was a spit and post type of write.

    I must admit the title threw me as I honestly thought it was another of the film contest writes but then I read the content and realised it wasn't. It does ofcourse relate to the content though and I can relate to this somewhat.

    1/ Firstly I thought this was about being sick being in a cold type of sweat but reading on it all makes sense.

    2/ This is the stanza that got me to realise exactly what this challenge was and that you are doing so so well especially taking the first step. Those first chills are the worse with any addiction - I've been there and I've seen it too. I love the last line of being mentally awake because that's what we need a mental breakthrough and willpower to help us through.

    3/ Shows motivation and willpower.

    4/ hallucinations are the worst and when those voices in our heads shout 'oh go on just one more' is so tempting but no, you are very strong and brave.

    5/ very very very true

    6/ I sense plenty determination.

    You CAN do this!!

    Much love,
    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks EM,
      I am trying and like you said this was just spitting out words. The shakes are the worst! I thought being winter i was just cold, but its 24/7 shakes in my hands and my legs =/ so this is the real challenge. holding out until they pass...

  • 7 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Such an honest write DD and hoping you are alright.

  • 7 years ago

    by gopi nath

    wonderful lines

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