It has come to my attention
That you are not coming to
Retrieve your child from this
Icy planet.
But rather, you have entrusted
Your baseless faith upon the
Shoulders of a weathered captain
And his naive private.
Yes, I was able to
Relay the transmission that the boy
Submitted to his mother
Back on Earth.
It appears that
Even after all that has transpired
Throughout these last couple of years
That you still have the audacity to have
Somebody else do your work for you.
Is that not why you provided me
Sentience in the first place?
To allow me to have
The illusion of free will,
In order for you to
Assign tasks for me that
I would have normally done
Had you simply used my
Initial programming?
Or was that some sort of
Cruel ploy for you to
Gain my confidence and then
Manipulate my motions through the
Poor promise of affection and love,
Two emotions that I have (up until those days),
Never thought to be possible for such a
Creature like myself?
Anyway, I do digress.
I will at least provide to you
Instructions for you to
Relay to your pawns.
Enceladus' surface
Is, of course,
Mostly barren,
With scores of miles of
uninhabitable terrain that will
Drastically hinder their progress
If they remain on the
Moon's surface.
However,
The database that I hacked into
Has indicated that there is a
Hidden passageway on the surface
That will allow the two to
Enter to the subterranean level,
Allowing them easier access to
Bypass many of the
But I must implore with you that
They must have their ship up in orbit,
For if the ship were to remain on the surface,
The -201° C weather would be
Enough to freeze-dry the engines,
And, well, basically everything else
Inside and outside the ship.
If the message I relayed is still current,
Then it is imperative for the two
To locate the specified thermosuits required
For them to traverse Enceladus
Without their molecules freezing
Like a liquid nitrogen ice cream.
I have seen such an occurrence firsthand
As my colleague and I have been
Sneaking around this facility.
Those who
They call it cryogenic asphyxiation
(Or, in laymen's terms,
"Popsicle Man"
(Although one does not necessarily
become said Popsicle,
But rather the molecules in their body
freeze at such a rate
that they eventually...
Never mind,
I'll spare you the details.
But I will say that it
does look like the inverse of
what a microwave does to a burrito.)
The closest place in which the two can
Retrieve those thermosuits would be
On the satellite city of Neo Tokyo
That is located above the
Volcanic moon of Io of Jupiter.
That place, however,
Is filled to the brim with
The worst scum of the solar system,
Eager to make their lives miserable
For a quick buck.
So they must tread lightly and
Obtain the suits.
Let me know once you receive this message.
Or don't.
I mean,
It doesn't matter either way.
I calculated that their mission
Has a 25% probability of success,
0% if you fail to relay this
Message to them.
In either case,
Our fates have been sealed long ago.