The cockney and the cockey

“‘ere your current bun”
What! my son?
“Yeah, ‘e was in a right ole two and eight”
Was he? in a real old state?,
“A propa’, Lionel Blair ‘e was”
I’m sorry he can be a nightmare.

“I mean its all a bit Pete Tong, my Barney Marlin”
What is all wrong? Although I’m not your darling
“Well ‘e was Alan Border, my dear”
So he was he out of order? My dear!!

“Yeah! sha’tin his north and south off,
elephants trunk, takin’ an athur ash
all over my Steve Claridge”
I see, shouting his mouth off,
drunk and weeing all over
your garage.

Yeah!....

“Well I suppose he’s just a Rob Roy,
I mean I was a tea-pot lid, donkeys ears ago”
Oh yes! He is a boy alright, and you know well,
being a kid many years ago.

“Any-rate, no Fred McMurray’s
just keep yer mince pies on ‘im”
and don't worry I will definitely keep my eyes on him.

“Na, Barney Rubble my turtle dove”

I’m glad its no trouble, although I’m not your love!

"Ta'ra"
Yes goodbye.

Cockney whispers to himself “silly old chairman Mao”