The blade snaps open,
the serrated jagged metal
and blinding yellow plastic handle
My salvation, my knight in yellow armor.
Metal cold and unforgiving
meeting the innocent flesh
just below my knee,
the back of my calf.
Slow painful cuts
cutting to the beats
of my breaking heart
Blood a pulsing living thing
weeping out of the cuts
running down my leg
Crying the pain I feel inside
Remembering their joyous laughter
turns slow to furious slashing
as tears streak down my face
cutting deeper and deeper
with every touch of the blade
The tears freeze as the pain becomes blinding
Close the blade, tuck it away,
My leg a maze of angry weeping
showing the feelings I feel inside
showing the feelings I'm to afraid to admit out loud.
Take a piece of toilet paper and clean up the mess
Exit the bathroom stall, stand in front of the mirror
Put on my eyeliner, gloss up my lips.
Plaster on a bright smile.
Exit the bathroom all together.
Walk to my cubicle, sit at my desk.
Log on to my work station
with that smile still on my face.
