Joy and Sorrow- A bitter /sweet pill to swallow

Vows exchanged, as I stepped out.. A change beckoned, without a doubt. My partner's smile, restored my peace, though relieved my mom, seemed ill at ease... I panicked, to her arms comfort, clung.. Her words in my ears, then loudly rung.. you have lived a life of pristine fun, A woman's life for you, has just begun.... My job and house, I juggled along, would get quite stressed, with work hours long. My hubby would notice, to help, would step.. While my mom advised, with her talks pep. Soon, for a baby, to quickly plan, advised all members, from hubby's clan.. Repeated attempts- early mornings, late eve.. All seemed futile, as I just cldnt conceive. The murmurs wld linger, "it is her fault". Snide remarks just flew, refused to halt. My hubby's patience, was standing thin. Just mom's assurance, in this frightening din. She stood beside and lent her ear... prodded me on & dispelled my fear. She said, my child, stand strong, stand still. You will be blessed, it is god's will. In desperate hope, the options galore.. From Tested to Silly, we did explore... As days passed by, I began to wilt, began to wither, against high hopes built. Six years had passed but still no sign, For want of a child, would silently pine. As my mom still prayed and asked to believe, I shouted at her " just go, just leave". She looked at me, with tear-filled eyes, couldn't hear, her heart's painstaking cries. She murmured "my faith will see you through", Her words riled me, my angst just grew.... But then as if, to prove her right... A miracle now seemed, just in sight, The signs are true, the tests confirm.. Said the doc, in a tone, reassuring, firm. A ray of light had appeared anew, mom's unwavering faith had got its due, I wanted to hug and apologize, for my folly against her wisdom wise... But on a pilgrimage, she had left to pray, In self-guilt, I was, destined to lay... I silently wished for her forgiveness, for the hurt I caused, for all the stress... And then the day, very soon arrived.. An angelic baby lay by my side... The news spread quick, people flocked to me, But it was mom's glimpse, I longed, to see. She had just returned and rushed to meet, and heartily wished for the momentous feat.. Then held my child, wept tears of joy, for a prayer answered, for a baby boy.. She patted my head, I embraced her tight, I felt her body cold, her face seemed white. I whispered, am sorry, for what transpired past, but she didn't respond, she had breathed her last... My heart skipped a beat, my body went numb, Hurt my mother's heart, how could I be so dumb! My tears wldnt stop, incessantly I cried, A new born beside, in my arms ,my mom had died. How could fate be cruel, how could destiny decide? That I be left devoid of, my loving mom, my guide? Though time has elapsed, for mom still yearns, my heart... I smile thru my child's birthday, though shed tears at the start...