Post Operative Depression

Life seems so hard right now
I'm not even sure what's wrong
Choking water when I try to swim
I feel like somehow I don't belong

I miss the things that make me happy
I miss feeling like I'm free
I feel like maybe this could last forever
I'm the lock that's missing the key

Old habits are hard not to reach for
When everything feels so low
I've been through a lot of shit before
But this is so much harder I know

All I feel is sad, anxiety and anger
These tears I'm crying everyday
This pain and trauma are constant
It feels like it's never going away

I know it's all about the fight
And persistence is all I need
A backbone is what I lack
A flower that sprouts from seed

That flower is wilting quickly
As I'm getting tired of this fight
But I know in my heart I'm strong
I just need it all to be alright